The Ultimate Female Questionaire

Well I've done it to myself again, I've tried to fool the only person I couldn't......myself. I spent 3 years trying to be the person someone else wanted me to be & in the end I like my life as well as who I am. Don't get me wrong, I'm definitely a work in progress but heading in the right direction. I have decided it is time to regenerate the ultimate female questionnaire so I can make sure that no one slips thru the cracks. Here it goes....25 fool proof questions.
#1.Have you ever slept with Darren Petty? If you answered yes, go to the bottom,sign your name, you failed.
2.Do you drink cold beer? if you answered no, bottom, sign name, you failed.
3.Do you want to have kids?
4.What are the ingredients in a Cocaine shooter?
5.Do you smoke cigarettes, crack or meth?
6.What is the greatest rock & roll band ever?
7.How many real live & non imaginary friends do you have?(1 is not a good answer)
8.How many football teams are in the SEC(tricky one since I don't count Vandy)
9.In what country would i find South Pacific Export Lager?
10.Can you make a to die for banana pudding?
11.Do you believe we should help Darfur, Tibet or the U.S.A.?
12.Would you help push California into the Pacific Ocean?
13.Do you eat meat, eggs & cheese?(no vegans will be tolerated)
14.Do you wear hats?
15.Would you like to ride around in a 1972 Olds Cutlass Supreme convertible topless?(dbl meaning)
16.Would you rather go shopping for plants or Sounds Baseball on a pretty night?
17.What is your actual height flat footed & with your biggest heels on?
18.What is your preference in panties?
19.Do you plan on spending $100k of my money on plastic surgery?
20.Do you ever wager oral sex?
21.Do you believe that soccer is a sport(can't use hands,not a sport)
22.Did the North cheat in the Civil War(war of Northern aggression)?
23.Would you of paved Afghanistan after 9-11?
24.Do you ever plan to visit France?
and last but definitely NOT least.....#25 Did you vote for Barack Obama?
There you have it....the Rip Pewett Ultimate Female Questionnaire.
This is a very important tool intended to keep me focused on my business, my football team & my piece of mind. I've always found it a terrible idea to go from one failed relationship into another new,soon to fail relationship. I am going back to being a catch & release fisherman....it is the right thing to do for me & all the girls out there that want to get married, have kids & live in a house with a white picket fence. In the picture are members of our crew & single. See how happy we are & smiling?
Cheers,
Rip Pewett
treasure hunter & single