Oh to have a simple life....would bore me to tears

I'm staring out the window of our Madison Street Clarksville store at the traffic driving by, much as a lion might at the zoo, when I witness 2 car loads of simple folk pull into our parking lot. I watch as they all struggle to get out of their vehicles as all 5 of them are over weight,border line obese. They are all related, probably poorly educated & happy as they can be. Damn them. I listen to their conversations & determine that they probably will never be rich, never travel the world & couldn't care less. They don't know any better.....or worse. For me it is painful to listen to their mindless babble bout Momma telling Jr he gunna have to study real hard when he starts HVAC school next week but it is real good for him cuz they ain't gonna make him do no math or english.(no but electricity is involve) Don't misunderstand me, I am not better than anyone, I have just been provided with a better opportunity to live life to it's fullest for lack of a better term. I was raised seeing Destin,Fl for vacations & these people probably took a camping trip to Kentucky Lake. I graduated from high school & went to college, they probably didn't graduate from high school & started working at Dairy Queen. (luv me some Dairy Queen)I have dated & married some of the most attractive women I have ever seen; they married a customer that was nice to them. I have traveled through Australia 3 times; they went to Outback Steakhouse one time in Bowling Green,KY & believe everything on the menu is true Aussie vittles. I know this is coming across as condescending but it is not. When I am struggling in my life....I am envious of the simple life. I sometimes wish that I lived in small town America & the problems of the real world were unknown to me. I have been exposed to the good, bad & ugly of the real world & can never go back. I want to do every single thing on my list of 100 & it is going to be a a hell of a lot of fun making it happen! Small town America works for some but the Big Old World is my forte. The picture is of Shelena, bar vixen at the Old Cabin Inn, Benton TN stapling a $1 bill with OnMeWay written on it to the wall. The past 2 years we have descended upon this great hole in the wall after our Ocoee river trip & she has come up with some great lines each year. 1st year....(her) "where u tourists from?"(me) "how do you know we are tourists?"(her)"cuz you all are way too happy to be from here!"2nd year(me)"Shelena, what does this text on my phone mean?"(her)"what does it say?"(me)"anything for you honey"(her)"Oh hell, that means butthole luvin for sure" We all nearly fell out of our chairs laughing. I look forward to next year & Shelena's yearly classics! Although I'm happy to live in the real world....escaping to small town America is rejuvenating.

Cheers,

Rip Pewett

relationships end but the clothes stick around

As I was buttoning a big orange shirt today in preparation of UT playing this evening, I had a flashback to a past relationship & how this symbol of my addiction for God's team came to be mine. I then took a moment to do a mental inventory of every piece of clothing in my wardrobe & all the sweet young vixens who helped assemble it. I'm not going to lie; it made me smile from ear to ear! Each piece of clothing whether it be boxers(no briefs) or an incredible black leather coat has a face & a great story. The boxers were given because we as men wear things until they evaporate & this one story involved said ex disgusted with the crotch being out of one or two pairs of my existing under garments. Next thing you know 4-8 pairs of new boxers in a variety of colors & designs proceeded by a quick funeral of crotchless boxers....goodbye old friends. The leather coat was a gift from one of the loves of my life for Christmas & it is one of the heaviest leather coats I have ever seen. One thing lead to another(she loved cocaine) & relationships end. One of the last things she said to me was "And i want that f___in leather coat back that I gave you as a xmas present!" I calmly replied "look in the dictionary for present & let me know what it says" I have acquired quite a few coats in my days that I still wear & really look good on me. Thanks ladies! I've been given shoes, socks,jeans,khakis,shirts,belts,boxers,coats; you name it & some young lady has given it to me. I consider myself a fairly fashion forward dresser but I realize that many of the givers have been conservative in their clothing choices as in other areas as well. Probably need to donate the dull stuff to Goodwill & make room in the closet. I believe that clothing as well as photos will transport each of us back to a period of time we may have forgotten or better yet; just filed away. I can look at every piece of my wardrobe & remember who gave it to me, the circumstances & ultimately regenerate a fond memory of that relationship; very much the same way a picture will. Ultimately relationships end but remembering the great times will serve you far better than the misery that may have been there at the end. Obviously this does not apply to violent & abusive relationships or ones that involved finding your lover in bed with your brother or sister. I think we can all agree that life consists of chapters & over time the best we can do is look back on each chapter with fond memories. If we don't then our book of life would be put in the horror section of the bookstore.

The picture represents one of the best gifts I ever gave...a pair of Dallas Cowboys thong panties. It says sexy plus 5 time World Champion! See as men we realize if we attempt to give you anything besides panties(s,m,l),jewelry or gift certificates we are only creating problems;as we have zero idea what the current fashion for chicks would be. Plus we understand the incredible pleasure you ladies generate from going to the mall together, getting manis & pedis & making fun of us. So go nuts & let us watch sports, drink beers & be guys. I will tell you that i have become the exception to the rule when it comes to giving gifts. I gave a bad present back in 1986(pair of rose printed jeans) & ever since I have made it a top priority to really be unique in my gift giving ability. No shit gifts ever again!

Cheers,

Rip Pewett