I can literally feel myself getting excited & more importantly; becoming a nicer person. I would like to apologize to everyone that I've offended, been rude to or made cry since college football ended in January. Wow, I'm glad I got that out of the way. Now to poke fun at the greatest conference & fans in the country...the SEC.
1.Alabama-the only good thing about going through Alabama is going through Alabama. Ugly state & ugly fans. They believe wearing a hounds tooth hat can make up for lack of class & teeth,
2.Auburn-not much hate for these guys as they have identity issues. Don't know if they are Tigers, War Eagles or Plainsman. Know their university is out in the middle of nowhere, Feel like they are our step brother as 2nd fiddle to Alabama.
3.Arkansas-beautiful campus in the middle of nowhere. Fans are confused how to act when they are winning so they revert back to Sun-Fri ways & act like idiots.
4.Florida-talk about their glory days of 3 National Championships when they lost to 1 team each of those seasons while wearing jorts & sporting a mullet(business up front & party in the back)
5.Georgia-bless their little hearts. All the talent in the world with a mediocre coach but fan base scared to fire him because he is right with God.
6.Kentucky-should probably let their basketball team play football for 1 year
7.LSU-coached by an escaped mental patient so the fan base feel like he is family. Such nice fans before the game. They will share their coon ass fixins & cold beers but when the game starts their meds wear off & it is down right dangerous there.
8.Mississippi State-who cares! Need marine snipers on top of that high school stadium to shoot all the cow bell toteing fans. Annoying
9.Missouri-take them to Las Vegas & match their bets. Lucky ever since they came to the SEC.
10.Ole Miss-they will never be great but their tailgate is National Champions every year. So many beautiful woman in the Grove that I forget about the game.
11.South Carolina-coached by the Bobby Knight of college football with an ego the size of the Texas. He never coached a quarterback better than him in his mind. Most sluts at SC too as evidence of their cheer..."Go Cocks!"
12.Tennessee-God's team with the most vertical stadium in the country thus closer to heaven. We are a collection of a lot of these fore mentioned traits of other teams plus a fight song that is hated by every single team in the SEC. Fuck em. Rocky Top is it.
13.Texas A&M-12th man is illegal & they should be penalized. Had to build a bigger stadium than both UTs
14.Vanderbilt-should drop football program after the post gang rape slogan of "We don't need permission!"
Looking forward to putting 60 points on them this year. Just like old times.
Well that was fun. I would continue on with Michigan & Ohio State fans but I'm just not interested in either program.
Cheers,
Rip Pewett
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