things done in the name of religion

Lent has begun & the Catholics are screaming from the chapels what they are foregoing until Easter. Everything from alcohol, pizza & sweets to represent the sacrifice Jesus made on the cross....I think. My knowledge of religion is sketchy at best as I haven't been to church two weeks in a row since I was 15. What I find humorous is each individual gives up something they feel will be a sacrifice but it is selective of that person & what they believe to be a sacrifice. One person believes giving up pizza is going to be a challenge were the other person may not like pizza at all but is abstaining from ice cream for 45 days. If a person is a Catholic Vegan then they don't eat those items year round so they must give up something else like eating....sand? Muslims don't eat pork....pig is good, one of their many issues. Monks set themselves on fire.....really?! I was raised Presbyterian and as a child i was allowed to eat & drink just about everything so i feel it was a cool religion for that period of my life. The Mormons aren't allowed soft drinks or alcohol...bad, but can have multiple wives.....real bad(more wives equals more problems, enough said). The Jehovah's witness....who cares, bunch of nut jobs. If you are a member of some cult you probably get to do pretty much as the leader dictates; right up until he poisons you or the local federales start lobbing tear gas into your compound. The Agnostics are saying who knows, who cares & why bother. The Atheist is eating, drinking, smoking & fucking right now during Lent. The Baptists are singing & the Church of Christ people are condemning everybody else to Hell no matter what! Since I am a free agent I have decided some sacrifice is in order so i have decided to slow down on my consumption of cold beer. It is dual purpose...first I want to lose 10-15 lbs so I look good in my bikini....oops swimming suit & 2nd just waking up with a clear head un hung over is a good thing! It has been a week & I feel great & my belly is already shrinking. Only 35+ days to go & the sacrifice is marginal but I'm not giving up pizza, ice cream or pop tarts.....I'm just not. All these things are essential to my happiness & therefore are staying. O.K. you are probably wondering as a free agent which religion might sign me to a long term deal....gotta go with the Catholics, they can pretty much do whatever they want, go to Confession & all their sins are forgiven....that is AWESOME! I'm holding out for terms of the deal & a huge signing bonus so I can buy a bunch of cold beer. The picture is of Barry McCord, one of my inner circle who is Catholic & is giving up both alcohol & soft drinks....truth be told he is alot more fun when he is on the booze...oh well, sacrifices must be made in the name of the Lord.
Cheers,
Rip Pewett free agent