Never leave a man behind unless you leave two

Sometimes your life doesn't always go the way you had it planned & it teaches the importance of friendships. I recently planned, booked & departed on a birthday trip to the Florida Keys with 6 of my good friends. The trip started simply enough as we took off on Southwest & would be changing plans in Tampa before heading on to Ft Lauderdale to pick up our van. Well, here is were the story takes a turn. One of my guys has had some health related issues in the past but had been cleared to travel by his physicians. We were about 30 minutes into our hour & half flight to Tampa when he became unresponsive. To say it freaked us out would be the understatement of the trip sooo far. Well, lucky for let's just call him Rocky, a physician is seated right across the aisle from him & went to work on accessing the current condition of our friend. As he was doing this the good people of Southwest provided all the necessary equipment on board to keep Rocky stable until we landed. I was amazed when it was determined we needed to get him to the ground asap, the pilot put the 737 into warp drive. The next 45 minutes were some of the longest of my life & I didn't want to look back at my friend for numerous reasons so I started working on plan B. As it turns out, the rest of us pretty much did the same thing. Both of the guys that grew up with Rocky wanted to go with him to the airport; hell looking back I think they just wanted to ride in the ambulance. It was determined that Matt would take one for the team & the rest of us would continue on to Ft Lauderdale to await for an update. It was determined after being probed & forced to do a heart stress test in a robe listening to his theme song, he would have to return to his hometown to have a procedure done. Our crew spent the night in Palm Beach & would pick up Matt the next day to continue on my birthday trip....and then their were 6. We reflected on the safe departure of our friend back to Louisville with every beer with a toast. Damn, he received many toasts & was in our thoughts as we powered on to Key West. The next day in Key West we had another friend have a heart or heartburn related episode at an Irish pub at 11ish in the morning. I can't believe this is happening AGAIN so me being a guy with high blood pressure, I scramble to find some aspirin to thin his blood. I find them from a nice couple, pass them down & when they get to Barry...he takes them. He isn't the one having the episode by the way, he is just hungover. Anyway it turns out to be a false alarm so we keep going. This trip turned out to be one of my best trips ever & I'm thankful our friend is making a speedy recovery. Reflecting back on the trip I realize how fortunate we are to have friends who are there during the good, the bad & the ugly times. Rocky has already RSVP for the trip next year back to Key West. I hope the rest of the crew follows suit.
Cheers,
Rip
p.s. a friend gave me a bit of advice & I'm so glad I didn't repeat it on the plane before we took
off for Tampa. " Don't die on your vacation as people will think you are lame"

When I was a kid, I was allowed to be a kid

It is hard to isolate the worst thing happening in our great country but the demise of one's childhood is in the top 10 in my opinion. What I mean is children are being forced to grow up way too fast in this society. I grew up in Brentwood, a small, rural town in Northern Williamson county. Now that is funny & precisely my point. If you compare the Brentwood I grew up in & the current town then you see exactly what I'm talking about. When I was a kid we were allowed the freedom to explore the creek across the street, the houses being built in the neighborhood & the cave behind our house with little warning given by our parents. We were told "Look both ways before you cross the street & you better come home when we ring the bell". Today kids are scared to play in creeks or caves & would rather play video games or surf on the Internet. Their parents have put such a sense of fear into them about abduction; the idea of having fun is replaced with cautiousness towards anything foreign to them. The removal of corporal punishment in the public school system has lead to a systematic breakdown of respect towards our teachers. Children these days are allowed to disrespect their teachers, their parents & any adult in society. Back in the day this behavior wasn't tolerated in the schools or the home. If you disrespected a teacher then you were paddled by the principal; if you disrespected your parents you had a belt taken to you. Today, teachers are fired for physical punishment & parents are taking to jail in hand cuffs for doing the right thing. With the development of cable television & the Internet, children are exposed to scantily clad pop stars dancing like they were strippers, other young children in compromising sexual situations & programs perpetuating graphic violence. When I was a kid we had 3 channels on the television & Charlie's Angels was as close to porn for us. We watched Gilligan's Island, Mr Rogers & Bozo the clown....then went outside to play with our friends wearing jeans, a t-shirt & tennis shoes. Their were no medications to cure our conditions, we weren't ADD, we were just not very smart. We weren't autistic, we were brilliant but a little different. Now, with the cellular phone explosion, children can be tracked by their parents & don't even have conversations as texting is the greatest thing. All these pall in comparison to the U.S. debt these children have inherited from our government. It is estimated that every child under the age of eighteen has inherited $72,000 in debt when they can't even get a credit card until the age of eighteen. It is truly sad that our society has done this to our kids. I believe that somewhere out there in a small town kids are allowed to be kids & they don't know any better...or worse. Good for them.
Cheers,
Rip Pewett kid at heart
p.s. the picture above could of been the Pewett boys rolling our Big Wheels down our driveway, taking that hair pin turn & jumping the curb right into the shrubs. It was some of the most fun 2 kids could ever have.

2012 To Do List

Well it is that time of the year to plan my life for the next year & I can't think of a better place than the world wide web to do so. I believe it helps to write down dreams, goals & desires so you reread them, theoretically every day to reinforce ones commitment. I still have former goals hidden throughout my life & find it humorous rereading them to see which ones I actually accomplished. Soooooo, with that in mind....I present my 2012 New Year's Resolutions.

1. get back into shape. Over the past 3 years my job has ruined my workouts & that is going to change. I have committed to myself, friends & now here to put the iron to the fire so to speak. I'm going to run the Music City 1/2 marathon for the 4th & maybe final time.

2.Become a minimalist. I am going to sell everything that isn't absolutely necessary. I'm kicking around the idea of selling everything at the flea market with a sign saying "Ripper's no garage sale" All proceeds will go towards my world travel fund.

3.Get back to helping others i.e. Safehaven Family Shelter. I was an overnight volunteer for 2 years & quite frankly got burned out. This time with the help of friends, I'm going to sign up monthly for the dinner detail. We will provide dinner for the families & clean up afterwards. I also want to take the families to a Sounds game & rent the outfield stands. I will be working with my buddy A.J. with the Sounds & my other friends for $.

4.Quit wearing ties or nooses on my soul as i like to call them. I will go more into detail about this in later posts.

5.Finish the Yelo Sub restoration...finally! My 1972 Olds Cutlass Supreme convertible is about 3 steps away from finito. I need my front end rebuilt(no shit), install my cd/ipod player & speakers then have my blinker switch replaced. Once these minor things are completed I am donating my faithful Cherokee to the Mike Ervin hunting camp. I will be living the dream of cruising in the Yelo Sub on a daily basis.

6.Start researching my Ex-pat locale. I've decided that I'm not going down with this sinking ship known as the U.S.A. it has become quite clear to me that our politicians have no desire to ever do anything but the status quo & that isn't going to work. It is my belief that in 5-10 years this country will go bankrupt, there will be citizens rioting in the streets & our way of life will be over. The silver lining in this is I will be reading about it on a beach, drinking cold beer with a girl half my age. My short list is Australia & New Zealand, Cuba or Costa Rica.

I think I will stop here as these 6 are pretty lofty goals & i just ate fajitas so i need to take a siesta sitting up right in my chair wearing this noose of a tie. The picture is of my first tattoo which is a pair of lips on my ass that symbolizes my belief if you don't like my life you can keep your opinion to yourself & kiss my ass. Until next time.....Happy New Year!

Cheers,

Rip

I never thought I would make it to 45.....now what?

June 27th, 1981-the day my father was killed. He was 45 yrs old, successful, handsome,funny & larger than life to his 15 year old son....he was also my motivation. I wouldn't have this revelation to later in my own life. I aspired to greatness & was mentally tough even as a child, so I could win the approval of my dad. Once he was gone & the circumstances of his death came to light; I lost faith in the world as I had known it as a child. It had become a brutal place that takes everything & forgives no one. I set out on a self destructive path that at times, amazes me I'm still on this Earth. I believed that all things end in time & applied this to my relationships, jobs & just about every other area of my life. It was not a matter of if but when; so I went into it with the end in mind. I coined the phrase "Committee of One" & began distancing myself from my family, friends & even God. At this point I should tell you I have never been a very religious person but I do hope at the end of the road there is a better place to go but I'm not sure that the Bible isn't just the best book ever written by man. So I continued on a path that lead me where the wind blew always trying to do the right thing for the right reasons. I've literally made hundreds of mistakes & bad decisions but I've never hurt anyone intentionally. So, what to do now. “Choose a job you love, and you will never have to work a day in your life.” ― Confucius Bottom line....I want to see the world, find treasure, take pictures & write about it. I will never reach my potential which is limitless, unless I do every one of these & soon damn it! I don't know how much time I have left but one thing is for sure; I never thought I would make it to 45 & now I've got to get busy. Until next time.

Cheers,

Rip 45 yr old dreamer & wanderer

Women need men more than men need women?

I was knocking back a few cold beers at the Sunday watering hole when a man turned the fan away from us & put it on his group. It was a 100 degrees outside & with no AC in the Brewhouse this was a immediate concern of our group. It turned out that his wife had told him to do it. I started pondering which gender needs the other more & here is my determination. I will start with the ladies as it is the polite thing to do.

Top 10 reasons women need men

1. Killing of bugs, snakes or Bigfoot. The majority of women are either scared or disgusted by these creatures & don't have the stomach for such things.

2. To listen to them complain about their boss or other girlfriends. You may get off easy if she has a girlfriend with the same boss & they can complain together; leaving you out of it but most likely she will just repeat the process wasting 10-15 minutes of your life you will never get back.

3.Going to the liquor store or beer store. Nothing sexy or proper about a woman walking out of the liquor store with a box o wine or fifth of bourbon...screams I'm a single drunk.

4.There are some obvious ones & I will group them together. They include taking out the trash, unpacking & repacking the Christmas decorations & getting the mail as well as the daily paper. They just don't want to do it.

5.Driving a vehicle. Women have too much going on when they are in the car to be worried about actually driving the car & plus they don't know where the hell they are going. I've witnessed a woman on her morning commute driving with her elbows as she smokes in one hand & applies make up with the other. Not to mention having to park said vehicle.

6.Making a woman feel petite & safe. A woman needs to feel if things turn dicey in a situation that you will & more importantly can protect her. Also you should make them feel like a girl by being a man, not a metro-sexual that wears nicer outfits than she does.

7.Have a good paying job. Telling her girlfriends, mom & sisters that you are currently looking for gainful employment isn't cool. Today's liberated woman doesn't mind paying a tab or two but they sure as hell don't want to have to pay your light bill to get your power turned on.

8.Buying her flowers, cards & taking her to dinner then a movie. It is what her father did for her mother & she needs you to do the same. Buying her own & having them sent to her office is expensive & dining alone then movie is leprous or widowish. Also we can mention Valentine's Day, weddings & Christmas parties. Women are pitied if they are dateless on these occasions.

9.Listening to her. I know this one can be tough. She may even try to talk about something serious when she is butt ass naked & expect you to get every word. The key is to nod alot & say yea of course without staring at her boobs. Also saying you are sorry if you are wrong or if she catches you staring at her boobs.

10.I saved the best for last. Women need men to make them have multiple orgasms. Sure, they can self pleasure but that can get mundane. They want you to do all the things above so when they get you in the bedroom, elevator or on the washing machine they can get off multiple times...can't stress this enough, orgasm gets you replaced, multiple orgasms gets you presents & free booze.

Whew, that was tough. Now on to the easy part.....why men need women.

1.Going to the grocery store. We hate the entire process. It is always crowded, we have to actually think about combining ingredients when Krystal had done it for us the night before & we always forget numerous items.

2.We need women to scratch our backs. Can't get the entire area without separating a shoulder & another man scratching your back is gay. Same goes for applying sunscreen & reminding us we should use it.

3.Carrying leftover to go food out of the restaurant. A real man will always finish his meal but sometimes, there is too much to eat in one meal. If you are good, which i am you combine her leftovers with yours & ultimately she forgets leaving you with 2 extra meals. It is an art.

4.Reach for your purse from time to time. I know if is alot of fun to eat, drink & be merry on your man's tab but he needs you to pick up the tab every now & again.

5.We need women to clean the casa. I personally am not too much of a slob but I hate to dust, vacuum & well the entire bathroom is neglected if left to me. I will bribe you with chick flick, dinner or whatever you need to make this happen plus I'll say thanks.

6.I count on my girlfriends(friends that are girls) to explore the crazy level of potential sweet young vixens. I do this by watching said vixen interact with people in the crowd until we have a mutual friend. I then text said friend to get the low down on the vixen. Works like a charm as long as friend doesn't spill the beans when I go to the big boys room.

7.We need women to wear sexy clothing & lingerie. Yea you would probably look good in a potato sack as I have in the past but a woman wearing a tight pair of jeans, top showing off the tatas & a perfect pair of thongs just showing enough will get us drooling every time. I also am a big fan of a tall, sexy woman wearing cargo pants as well. Did I also mention hats drive this man crazy?!

8.I need a woman to have a great sense of humor or she is going to think I'm an idiot....which I can be(see drooling above). If you cannot laugh at yourself & others then you are on a path of bitterness & regret later in life. It is a one of the best traits in the world if you can laugh at just about every bad situation. I believe it relieves stress & therefore prolongs your silly life.

9.Men need women for fashion sense. This one is very important as most men hate to shop for clothes almost as bad as groceries. If left on our own we will stumble into a store with the hottest blond 21 yr old working & leave the store with a hard on dressed like Justin Beeber.

10.O.K. now to the R to X portion of what men need from women....sex & lots of it! We need you to check your parent's issues about the subject at the door. It is your sex life & you need to be a willing & eager participant or you run the risk of being replaced by a newer, hornier model. Don't be afraid to experiment with new toys, positions, & places. We need for you to enjoy oral pleasure(giving as well as receiving), morning luvin & dirty talk. We also have no problem sharing a shower anytime you feel the need to clean your dirty body. I really could go on & on with this one but you get the idea. Have fun & do it alot!

Well, that pretty much sums up my thoughts about the needs of the opposite sex & should be taken with a grain of salt by rational people. The picture is of some foreign hottie that I have never met & have no idea her needs as a non-American woman but I imagine she would be close on alot of these. Until next time remember a famous quote by one of my favorite women" It is God's biggest joke putting men & women on the same planet & expecting them to get along!"Bev

Cheers,

Rip Pewett a man with many needs

Beer my friend, you have weighted me down

Since the beginning of time beer has been a vital part of every civilization & consumed with great zeal. Sadly for my civilization & me personally was the invention of cameras. These devices have saved images of me when I was a much younger & slimmer man. I realize that our metabolism slows as we get older among other things, but it is my belief that beer or my love of said beer is directly responsible for my belly, double chin & fat face. Throughout our lives we must make commitments that prove we have willpower & giving up my dear friend cold beer for at least a month is one of those times. I jest that I don't have too many vices but beer is one of my favorites. I drink beer to unwind from a stressful day, as my social beverage of choice & let's be honest....I really enjoy it. My goal is to lose at least 35 lbs by the end of August & giving up coldies is the main component. I also have been green lighted by my Vanderbilt Hospital (shitty football team...great hospital) cardiologist to resume exercise & I am fine tuning my diet to jumpstart my metabolism. I am on Day 9 of the no beer plan & feeling good. Well, I gave myself a Sunday Funday beer waiver & to tell the truth; the 1st ones at the the Crow's Nest didn't taste very good. I chalked it up to the beer lines being dirty & headed to my Sunday honey hole...Brewhouse. It felt good to have a few 2 for 1 coldies until a storm rolled up in there & I had to exit stage left. I switched back to wine once I made it to the safety of the condo & woke up this morning feeling like ass. I've decided to continue on with the no beer diet through the summer & just see how much weight I lose & how much better I feel. I will institute the Sunday Funday waiver when necessary as it isn't cool to drink liquor when it is 90 plus degrees outside & 2 for 1. I was also just lucky enough to have a friend who is a waitress in the sky for United who is a sweetheart & brought me 5 VB(Victoria Bitter) beers & a tall voluptuous redhead from down under(Australia). I forgot to mention that we had to taste 2 of them Friday night...oops. I am excited about getting back into the pool & the gym....hopefully i will lose between 35-45lbs this summer & be able to fit back into some of my cool skinnier clothing. Until next time....
Cheers,
Rip Pewett

Top 10 signs that you have lost your mancard

I was driving around on this beautiful day in Nashville & really didn't have a care in the world until I drove by this man who had obviously given up his mancard. This vision is disturbing for me as I do believe that love between two people is a wonderful thing as long as you don't lose who you were before this grand event took place. I realized that I hadn't posted anything in a while & this mancard topic was worthy. So, in no particular order I present the top 10 signs that you have lost your mancard & no "buying your girl feminine hygiene products" isn't on the list because it is a given.
1.Walking a little dog such as a shitzu, miniature whatever, pug or lapsa ugly so. If you have to carry plastic gloves to pick up the shit then a sniper should put you out of your misery.
2. Getting married during SEC football season. I was engaged when my bride to be said" I've always wanted to have an October wedding!" & in a very empathetic moment I retorted "Have you met the groom yet?" Needless to say, we didn't work out & she did marry a guy during SEC football season.
3. If you show up in a public place wearing the same outfit as your significant other. Was it a buy one get the other free deal or what?
4. Owning a cat that doesn't come from the woods or a foreign country. A cat is an animal that is like a woman....plotting your demise while you sleep. Get rid of it girlie man.
5. A convertible that 9 out of 10 people drive are women! Miata, Sebring, & VW Cabriolet are gay & so are you probably. I drive a 1972 Olds Cutlass Supreme Convertible & that is how a convertible is done. That guarantees my man card for life.
6. Wearing a bow tie! Even the guy that sold it to you is laughing.
7. Not liking sports! Once again you are probably gay. The rivalry, the gameday experience & that girls have to gives us a waiver for almost anything we do while we are watching sports is worth it's weight in gold!
8. Going to a 1 yr olds birthday party. Bottom line is the the kid isn't going to remember you being there & u should go to a strip club, get hammered & have the girl pick you up after.
9. Saying make love....it's what girls call fucking!
10. Last but not least......voting Democrat. Nothing says I'm a girlie man more than believing in the principles of the Democratic party of not thinking for yourself & believing we should help people who are not willing to help themselves.
O.K. that pretty much sums it up & as always I could go on & on but you get the point. Be a man & stand up for yourself. Say no to the people(chicks) that want to neuter you mentally & say "what would Rip do?"
Until next time.
Cheers,
Rip Pewett lifetime man card carrier
the pic is of Webb Wilder....one of the last of the full grown men & man card lifetime member!

March is officially White History Month...aka Whitey month

Well, February came & went along with another round of the Black History Month celebrating all the great accomplishments of Black Americans. I never have understood why the entire population of the United Sates(320 plus million) should be subjected to this when the population of Black Americans is roughly 13% or 41.6 million of all Americans. Ironically they make up over 51% of the prison population. I decided that White Americans should have their own month & we would celebrate all that White Americans have done. No better place to start than George Washington the father of our great country, general in our colonial army & the 1st President of the these United States of America. He had a great vision of breaking away from England's rule & forming a free country were opportunity was available to every man. Yes, he was a slave owner but well loved by his slaves & as he became older believed it was wrong. Next on my list Walter Camp, who is credited with being the founder of modern day college football. This man has done more to make my life enjoyable than almost anyone else except the inventor of beer or thongs. The game day ritual of tailgating, the Vol Walk & the awe of Neyland Stadium on Saturday all started with Mr.Camp. The next one on my list is Jacques Cousteau who invented the SCUBA system & yes I know he was French but gave him a waiver. I became a scuba(Self Contained Underwater Breathing Apparatus) diver back in 1993. Since then I have sucked compressed air in numerous exotic locales & seen things under the water no one else has. The incredible colors of the animals, coral & water have always left me in awe of mother nature. Roy Raymond is the next great white male on my list, he only invented the modern day Victoria's Secret. I have never met this man but safe to say I love him & all he has done for me & our gender. I will assume that he also invented the thong even though some chick probably did. The last entry will actually be a pair who invented air flight, the Wright Brothers. Although many others have been linked to this discovery, I am from the South & so were the Wright Brothers(North Carolina) so I'm going with them. These guys were the guys that pioneered modern day 747 airplanes & F-22 Raptors. They get me to Australia & destroy my enemies from above...good stuff! As always i could go on & on about endless white Americans who have made huge contributions to the development of this great country. Please do not think that I am a racist or don't believe Black Americans have contributed to this great country; I just don't think they should have an entire month to celebrate these accomplishments. Cheers, Rip Pewett a white American p.s. the picture is of the greatest white American in my book, my brother Ryan. He grew up with me, endured the same hardships I did & overcame them all to be a great husband, father & brother!

Think about it, do it & don't regret it

Who doesn't have regrets, a person that isn't honest with themselves. We all have made mistakes in life & therefore have regrets; but it is important to learn from them & not dwell on the experience. I believe it is equally important when making decisions that you weigh the pros & cons of the situation then act without regret. So many of us are so unsure of which direction to take that with stay on the same boring path because ultimately it is safe & we are afraid of failing. I love the old adage "You can't steal 2nd base with your foot on 1st". I am the poster child for "baptism by fire" or learning by doing. My father was killed when I was 15 & he wasn't around to teach me how to drive, how to manage money or how to be the bigger man & walk away. So I wrecked some cars, ruined some credit & whipped alot of knuckleheads but i learned from it & I sure don't regret it. I was doing the best I could with pretty much no guidance. I learned too many valuables lessons to list here but some of my favorites are treat people the way you want to be treated, protect those that cannot protect themselves & learn to laugh at yourself because you will do stupid, laughable things. A man that cannot laugh at himself will always regret when he makes mistakes but a man that can laugh at himself will be laughing & not regretting his actions. I have 3 tattoos & thought about it, did it & never once regretted it. I had 2 elderly men at the Green Hills YMCA see my ankle bracelet tattoos & one asked me..."Boy what on Earth made you do that to your body?!" to which I replied "Oh I hear they will wash off when I'm dead". I wish you could have seen the horrific looks on these fellas faces...priceless. Judge not least ye be judged. These guys probably have done nothing exciting or with risk in their entire lives & that is sad. I could go on & on with my experiences but that isn't my reason for this; I want you to remember the times you have made your life more enjoyable because you thought about it, you did it & you don't regret it! "Go in the directions of your dreams & live the life you have imagined'. The picture is the logo of Old Van Halen(greatest rock band ever) & it is one of the charms on my left ankle bracelet & yes it hurt like hell but zero regrets.:0
Until next time,
Rip Pewett

I'm officially announcing my bid to be the next President of the United States of America

Well the time has come for me to step out from behind the scenes & pull this country out of it's death roll. I have stood by & watched President Obama lie, cheat & steal his way to being the worst president in the history of this great country. I don't expect much competition from him as he will be busy on some reality show or playing hoops with Will Smith during the election. I feel that i owe it to the American people & their children to lay out my platform in great detail so we will all know how I'm going to fix this country.

1. Bring our troops home from Afghanistan & South Korea. We don't need troops on the ground to find Bin Laden. Pull the troops out & wait for someone to spot him. Once he is spotted I will deploy a full squadron of B-52 stratofortress bombers to carpet bomb the shit out of his stronghold. Problem solved. The 28,000 troops in South Korea will be redeployed along the U.S. Mexican border. We will put snipers in towers along the 50ft wall built by American contractors. Job stimulation & border security will be the result of this course of action.

2.Bring every Czar that Obama appointed to the White House & have them arrested as most of them are criminals anyway. If some are innocent then I will send them a apology card & fruit cake for their troubles.

3.Set term limits on Congress to a maximum of 2 terms & revoke the lifetime pension for members of Congress. It is a privilege to serve your country & you shouldn't receive any lifetime benefit for it. Also if you guilty of a crime while serving in Congress, if convicted you are sentenced to Levinworth Federal Prison with the military convicts...no censure allowed.

4.I will address the United Nations & inform all the leaders of the world that all aid will be cut off to countries that harbor terrorists, burn our flags or if you just hate us cause we are cool. Once you make the list, it will be impossible to get off it.

5.Student visas & work visas will be suspended for 10years. We are training our enemies in our universities & allowing our enemies to work amongst us. Also tourist visa will only be issued after a through background check.

6.I will sponsor a bill that legalizes the sale of marijuana & will tax the hell out of it to go solely towards our National debt.

7.I will raise taxes on actors, professional athletes & billionaires. They have gotten rich on the backs of the lower & middle class fans. All these taxes will go towards the National debt as well.

8.I will abolish Obama's Healthcare plan the moment I get the keys to the White House & will replace it with a program that mandates new doctors must serve 5 years in a government run hospital that deals with Medicaid & Medicare patients exclusively. Drug companies will be forced to sell drugs to these facilities at cost. This will totally control the cost of healthcare to the elderly, the poor & the illegal aliens in this country.Everybody else has insurance & it is working!

9.I will legalize off shore drilling anywhere that we find large reserves. The endangered species will move or die. I also will broker a deal with the government of Iraqi to pump all the free oil we can for the 10 years we have been in their country & after 10 years we will pump oil at cost for as long as we have a military presence in Iraq. Oil prices will plummet & yet again the profits will go directly to the debt.

10.I will focus on a Made in America agenda that will promote, encourage & fund business in America. I will also pass a tax on luxury items such as cars, planes & boats that are manufactured outside of our country. You got it, the profits will go directly towards our debt.

11.You get the idea of my agenda to bring this great country back from stupidity to AWESOMENESS! But in order to really fix this country we must fix the current college football mess known as the BCS. We will go to a playoff system with the 16 highest ranked teams vying for the National Championship. The teams will play the quarterfinals,semifinals & finals in the same sites that have the bowls with the finals alternating between the Fiesta,Rose,Sugar & Orange Bowl. No questions about who the National Champion is when it is proven on the field.

I probably need to get busy collecting signatures & choosing a Vice-President. I hope I'm elected so I can get this country back on track & if the Russians don't shake my hand at the Arms Treaty talks(see Obama snubbed by Russians) I'll light them up with nukes. Remember to vote in 2012 for Rip Pewett...the tallest candidate.
Cheers,
Rip
p.s.in lieu of debating President Obama, I will challenge him in a game of one on one basketball & school his lame ass.

You can't get them all but boy you can try;)

It has been a long time since I felt inspired to write my thoughts. I have been coasting through life without many cares & sadly very little inspiration until last night. I was at the Corner Pub in Green Hills to retrieve a fleece jacket I left there after the UT game Saturday when a blast from the past strolled through the door. She & I reminisced about our college days & what was going on in our current lives. Time flys when you are talking with a stunning woman about the glory days of college. We went our separate ways & I started thinking about the women of my life that for whatever reason I never was able to compromise.(see naked) I've always loved the Seinfeld show & the unique ways Jerry always lost the pretty girl. With that being noted, here are the Top 10 beautiful women in no particular order that got away & the unique reason for each.

1. Betsy Scofield-she dated & loved one of my best friends-that is where bros vs hos is tested & proven.

2.Andrea Parrish-not really sure about this other than she has a twin & maybe I couldn't make up my mind or she caught me eyeing her sister's spectacular boobs

3.Rachel Cunningham-hubba hubba & super sassy-once again dated & loved one of my best friends-a trend is developing here

4.Kim Huff-childhood friend that moved away...i had a kiddie boner for her

5.Penny Crook-this one is especially painful as timing just never worked out with her numerous times & now we aren't friends because of it...unfortunate.

6.Susan Jenkins-sooooo close but alas one of my best friends wouldn't take one for the team & be a true wingman.

7.Jenny Williams-just didn't work out but alot of fun. Even told her best friend I had compromised her only to have Jenny call me the very next day. Needless to say it was a conversation were i did most of the talking & apoligizing. What can I say I was 21yrs old.

8.Monique Gibson-this one hurts because I actually chose to blow her off for another girl who in retrospect doesn't hold a candle to Monique....big mistake

9.Kelly Kline-i'm a bad breaker upper, always have been. I was trying to crawfish back with my ex-fiancee when I met this tall drink of water. Had one fun Super Bowl party night!

10.Leslie Revill-one of my favorites & once again timing killed me again. She & I just hit it off but I was with another woman...oh well

Well that was alot of fun to remember the fishes that got away & laugh about it. I've been very fortunate through my life to be with alot of beautiful women inside & out. Another chapter in these are the memories that make me a wealthy soul. Until the next inspiration.

Cheers,

Rip Pewett amateur fisherman

p.s.picture is of #10 Leslie Revill(sweet young vixen)

10 signs of a Democrat

I sometimes ponder about people & why they behave in the manner to which they do. You can break it down to politics....they are either Republicans(right) or Democrats(wrong). Here are 10(there alot more) tell tale signs that a person is a Democrat.

1.the person that doesn't pay attention when the turn signal at an intersection goes green & ruins it for no less than 5 cars behind them that were paying attention.

2.if you own a foreign sub-compact or mid size vehicle. They don't understand that these purchases send money to other countries. Obviously Republicans understand this but work hard for their money & want the best cars available. I am the exception in that I am a Republican that will never own a foreign ride.

3.if you believe World Peace is a realistic obtainable goal....it will never happen

4.if you think you are too good to park in a parking space & choose to park in front of a place of business.

5.if you are an actor/actress or a musician. These people don't live in the real world & pretty much have other people wipe their asses for them.

6.if you are a vegan or vegetarian & feel the need to tell everybody because you are taking a stand. I'm a lesbatarian but you don't see me walking around annoying people with that little detail. No one cares.

7.if you believe the media is truthful & not biased at all!

8.if you believe we should save Darfur, free Tibet & help any country that hates us. Save America, free us from our growing debt & ONLY help our allies!

9.if you live in California, New York or not the extended South.

10.if you were dumb enough to vote for Obama even after all the facts you knew about him.

I could go on & on about the signs that a person is a Democrat but it would piss us both off.

Until next time....stay to the right & vote on Nov 2 before it is too late!!!!!!

Rip Pewett Republican

25 likes & dislikes....Vol 2

In my last post I mentioned that it wouldn't take long for someone to piss me off & trigger my 25 dislikes. I'll start there.


1.brain dead rednecks-Dad always said he disliked them worse than bad blacks(trying to keep it clean), because they were born with the advantage of being born white & just didn't get it.





2.Democrats-they want to help people who don't want to help themselves & that is stupidity in it's simplest form.





3.Mean hearted people-I've hurt people throughout my life but I never did it intentionally...mean people do.





4. the common fly-no real purpose for their existence but to gross me out!





5.no turn on red sign-most broken law by me





6.metal clothes hangers-they really piss me off





7.the idea that world peace is possible.....it isn't, people have been fighting since the beginning of time.





8.giving money to countries that hate us & conspire against us! fuck them & let them eat sand





9.neck ties-i consider them a noose on my soul





10.traitors-in a time of war they should be executed(you know who you are)





11.allergies-no fun living in Tennessee





12.ear & nose hair-it is gross, keep it trimmed. manscape the other as well.





13.the French-this one is more of a hate. their arrogance amazes me for a chicken shit country that won't stand up for itself. We should of let Germany keep them.





14.not being able to get breakfast & lunch at the same time at McDonalds(egg mctasty,country ham biscuit & fries)





15.traffic jams that last forever & when you get to the cause of the delay....you still can't figure out why traffic was slowed.





16.cheap people-I'd rather you stand over my grave & call me an asshole(that can be true) than to call me cheap. spend it....you can't take it with you





17.cats-they are Satan's creatures plus I'm allergic to them. could be worse.....i could be allergic to the other.





18.Van Hagar-Van Halen is my favorite band & Sammy Hagar should never have followed Diamond David Lee Roth.





19.men driving chick convertibles-miatas & sebrings ain't cool





20.i really dislike the word mandatory-it implies authority over me



21.cemeteries-people should never be put in the ground. Cremate me & spread half of me over God's stadium(Neyland) & the other half over the Great Barrier Reef



22.Haveto Day-Mondays



23.women who are so insecure they have to separate their men from their friends. i lost a wife & best friend for that reason



24.crazy women-i don't care who screwed you up.....it wasn't me



25.last but not least I ABSOLUTELY DISLIKE THE ENTIRE OBAMA ADMINISTRATION & THE CURRENT SEATED CONGRESS!!!!!!!!!! YA'LL SUCK



Well, I feel better. Now you know what I like & what I dislike.

Cheers,

Rip Pewett
p.s. ohhhhhh, and the picture is of Vanderbilt's Memorial Gym....I hate Vanderbilt fans.

My 25 likes & dislikes

I go through my daily routine & usually find humor in all situations; I guess it is a type of coping mechanism so I don't blow a fuse but every now & again I feel the need to vent....so here goes. I will start on a positive note so we all understand that my glass is over half full to say the least.

25 likes

1.UT & college football-the history, the rivalries & the excitement not to mention the whole game day experience(45 days until season opener)

2.scuba diving-there is so much beauty in the ocean, so much freedom when you dive & I am in a sunny locale.

3. 1972 Olds Cutlass Supreme Convertible-it is yellow.

4.the smell of wood burning-even when my house burned to the ground as a kid I still liked the way it smelled-it was mentioned that I was probably in shock.

5.Seafood-i feel for people that don't like scrimps,lobster,grouper,scallops & fried craw claws.

6.My passport-my legal document that allows me to take adventures all over the world.

7.having a sense of humor....if you ain't got one, you are boring!

8.banana puddin-have had 2 sweet young vixens that claim to make the best in the world...1 does;)
9.roller coasters- love the thrill of being out of control & going fast!

10.Cold beer.....it is my vice, my relaxation juice & my social beverage of choice.

11.movies via Netflix...i can escape reality on the futon, i can pause to go potty or get another glass of vino.
12.Thongs-something soooooo sexy about seeing a hottie w/thongs peeking out at me

13.rewarding myself with a present. we all work hard(sometimes) & it is nice to say fuck it.....i want this
14.diet mt dew.....I'm all jacked up on diet mt dew! i don't drink coffee & I've probably had 10 glasses of ice tea my entire life
15.the beach.....I'm a big fan of the white beaches of the panhandle of Florida...lots of great memories from childhood, college & as an adult
16.living in the greatest country in the World....yep it is, just travel anywhere & you will see that we have it pretty damn good compared to everyone else.
17.the Internet....porn, UT football,google,buy stuff, plan travel....my website www.onmeway.com
etc.....
18.the sun....yes it makes life possible but I'm talking about all the fun in the sun...poolside w/girls in bikinis, getting a tan & riding around topless
19.extended travel....6 weeks in Australia w/nothing to do but have adventure after adventure is one of the most liberating experiences you will ever have.
20.Committee of one....being single allows me to do whatever the hell I want!

21.giving....my time, my money & anything that someone needs or likes better than I like it
22.Chinese food, Mexican food & fish tacos......good stuff!
23.tall women 5'9" & above to ride this ride.....it is my niche market cuz tall girls like to be able to wear heels, be small & feel safe.
24.watching planes fly overhead....commercial airliners make me wonder where i will be going next, military planes make me wonder who we are gonna light up next....I'm a huge war hawk
25.....last but most important...I like my memories. It is the only thing you would have if you were on a beach naked.
O.K. that pretty much sums up my likes & I think I will stop there. I'm on a way too positive note to start bashing on my dislikes! Don't worry, somebody will piss me off soon enough & my next post will be my dislikes.
Cheers,
Rip Pewett likes.......

4th of July-Independence from reality

Today is the day that our nation celebrates the colonies of America breaking away from the tyranny of Great Britain to form the greatest country in the world...the United States of America. To often we forget the struggles that our ancestors endured to build this great country. We have survived civil war, the Great Depression & many natural disasters. Through all of these tests what kept our country going was hope & the belief that all setbacks are temporary. I'm here to tell you that over 50% of our country does not believe what is happening to this country is a temporary setback. We believe it is a well thought out plan to systematically destroy our way of life. What if me & all of my Facebook friends behave like our current administration did? What if every single one of us were already deeply in debt but went to another lender & borrowed 100 times the amount we already owe at a astronomical interest rate? Then we all went to our employer & said you are going to have to raise our salary to cover this additional debt. Oh, I'm also not going to tell you why I did this or what I'm gonna do with this money. You know what would happen...we would be fired as the guys in the white jackets were putting the straight jacket on us! That is exactly what needs to happen to Obuma & all of his cronies. Fire them for what they are doing to this great country. I liken certain Democrats as ostriches; as they put their heads in the sand so they don't have to listen or watch what they have done. I am seeing many of them cringe as they see their President laugh & cut up on the beach as he visits the Gulf oil disaster. Even the most left wing are noticing when the Russian delegation didn't shake Obuma's hand at the arms treaty talk & realize our biggest rival doesn't respect him. The Democrats will be the ones that change this country back when they become sick & tired of his lies as well as when they accept that he is soooooo far in over his head & so are his advisers. Change is good, you wanted change & you voted for it. Now accept the fact you made a colossal mistake & fix it before it is too late. If is your kids that will suffer & you will have no one to blame but yourself. I don't have any kids(that i know about) & I have a passport....I will be fine. I can live on a dive boat in Australia, drinking better beer & watching the Vols on satellite t.v. You can't leave as you have to raise your family in a country that is going down the drain. Start today on the anniversary of other brave souls who were willing to do whatever it took to build a great nation! The picture is of some of our crew & I'm going to convince them to go out and borrow 100 more debt than they currently have then ask their boss for a raise to cover the debt. I will keep you posted.
Cheers,
Rip Pewett one fed up American

We are all guilty for what is happening to this country....some more than others

I was driving to work today and as the road narrowed I was passed by a 5 series BMW followed closely by a Porsche 911 Carrera. Both of these foreign luxury cars were speeding, driving somewhat recklessly & saying to the world...look at me. I started thinking about the problems we face in this country & one of the greatest mistakes our country made was allowing foreign car manufacturers easy access to our markets. The next time you are in a traffic jam & have some time on your hands...look at 20 cars near you & you'll see at least half of these vehicles are foreign! I understand that the Germans, Swedes & Japanese make fine cars but so do the Americans. The real problem is with our society & the arrogance of the wealthy. They feel they have worked hard for their money & should reward themselves with the best toys the world has to offer. The problem with this is they never give thought to where their hard earned money lands. At first glance it would appear to go to their local dealership but in reality is going to a foreign country & improving their bottom line, not the U.S. I am also aware that alot of purchases are by the middle & lower class as well. I don't want to dwell on these classes too much because they believe that the Japanese make the most fuel efficient cars in the world; so it is a money driven decision. Our law makers have ruined other industries as well. Electronics, apparel & liquor come to mind. We have to have the Samsung T.V., the Hugo Boss suit & the Crown Royal(yes I am guilty as well). But if we did any research at all, we would find that RCA makes great tvs, Tom James sells far better suits & Jack Daniels will due just fine. Once again we find ourselves giving away our country so we can live the high life. Buy American or leave should be our slogan & we should follow it when it comes to our major purchases. I understand that I am teetering on the cliff of hypocrisy by starting an import/export company but I'm not talking about art, crafts & widgets...I'm talking about major purchases that effect our economy. These things are housing, cars, appliances & electronics. We could pull ourselves out of this recession & debt cesspool by giving tax breaks to Americans who are loyal to our manufacturers & levy a luxury tax on the people who don't give a shit about anyone but themselves. The Australians have been doing this for years & it works! Pictured is my Yelosub, a 1972 Oldsmobile Cutlass Supreme convertible & it is 100% American baby...just like me. For the record I have never owned a foreign vehicle & never will! Get with it people or sooner or later there won't be anything left of us & the U.S.A.
Cheers,
Rip Pewett proud purchaser of American made products

You never know who you are gonna run into

I was attempting to nap last Saturday when my phone rang. It was my roommate telling me that he was drinking with two Australian travelers at the street festival I was supposed to be attending. Well, I needed no other motivation that pounding numerous cold beer with friends & convicts. I call all Australians convicts, as that is what they are...convicts sent from England in the 1800's. I rolled up on this motley crew & John the taller of the two says" Yeah, he is a big bloke Barry". Well, I quickly start questioning these fellas about where they are from & what brings them to Nashville. North of Melbourne & music are the answers. We hit it off immediately & proceed to make these fine fellas feel at home in Nashville as their countrymen have done for me on my 3 treks through Oz. I love talking with Australians about their country & learning what I might have missed in my travels there. I sometimes having a hard time listening to people on a daily basis as I think I'm more interesting than most Americans(i know it is a flaw & I'm working on it) but I can sit for hours & listen to Aussies talk about there homeland. I've found cold beer adds to the enjoyment of the stories as well. These 2 blokes are here for a month & they are definitely on walkabout(aussie term for just leaving your hometown for a good bit). They had listened to blues in New Orleans, survived Memphis & now where in Nashville to listen to country music. They wandered upon the Ode to Otha street party & were eating catfish for the first time & drinking Yazoo beer as I was listening to their adventures up to this point. Nothing gets my mind revved up like this. I start talking about what they have to import & what they need me to export. Ironically, they told me I could make a fortune shipping old rusted out cars you see in a person's yard but that didn't seem like my thing. I told them about my past OnMeWay treasure hunting & my future adventures back to Australia & on to New Zealand. We exchanged cards & i promised to look them up my next time in country. And off they went to The Station Inn & I went back to dreaming about my visionquest. I met with my a friend of mine who is a potential investor & it went very well. I have no problem asking a friend to buy me a couple beers but asking someone for $250,000 for investment capital takes me a bit out of my comfort zone. I'm sure it will get easier the more times I ask. No matter what it takes, I will be out of the country on my VisionQuest the day after college football season is over! Yes, I realize my priorities are a little off but they are mine. I would also like to say Suck it Kiffen to our former coach as he enjoys the downfall of USC do to probation. The picture is of 2 convicts John & Gary with 2 yags, Barry & Mark.
Cheers,
Rip Pewett future entrepreneur
www.onmeway.com

Nashville Class Capital of the World

18.5 inches of rain fell on Nashville in a 2 day period & our community is still reeling but through it all the people of Nashville have displayed class & dignity to the rest of the United States as well as the World. One FEMA agent was quoted as saying "In my 10 years working disasters, I have never seen a better example of people handling diversity than the people of Nashville." We have not fought, complained or looted during this catastrophic event; instead we have picked ourselves up, reached out to one another & supported complete strangers during this tough time. We were asked to conserve water as one of our 2 water treatment plants was completely submerged by the Cumberland River & we did. We didn't blame our local government for building this plant too close to the river as noone could have foreseen this disaster...it just happened. Looters were nowhere to be found as maybe they were busy taking care of their homes or maybe we just know better. A natural disaster is not an opportunity to steal from your fellow man, it is a time to help him start the rebuilding process. It did appear that the national media wasn't too concerned with our problems but seeing as we are a red state(Republican), maybe they felt we were getting what we deserved. F__k em & for the record Davidson County is liberal blue. We can take care of ourselves & couldn't care less if the media covers it. I have seen many of slogans since the flood but my favorite is We are Nashville. We are a good, hearted Southern town built on the river & we will be back ASAP! No excuses, no complaining....just being the best town I have ever seen in the U.S.A. & I've been to New Orleans & Memphis(shameless dig) We have seen how the people of one of those towns reacted to a natural disaster & Memphis would have been just as bad if they experienced what we have.....just sayin. The picture is of our riverfront park during a BBQ festival in August of last year. The street pictured is 1st ave & before the river crested we had water all the way up to 5th Ave! LP Field where the Tennessee Titans play had water 3-4 feet deep on the playing field. Jeff Fisher the coach of the Titans & adopted Nashvilian was quoted as saying" Oh hell, we could of played on the field today if we had to". That is the way to say it Jeff....good on ya!
Cheers & keep your powder dry,
Rip Pewett proud native Nashvilian

I didn't vote for the arrogant ass.....he is 1 and done

Never in the history of our country have we ever made such a colossal mistake. It is hard to imagine so many millions of people who would ignore all the warning signs that Barack Obama wants to destroy the United States & our way of life. The media hid all the facts they could but the truth always comes out. It didn't matter to the Democrats that Mr. Obama would not produce a valid birth certificate, is a practicing Muslim, went to Reverend Wright's radical church for 20years or has zero experience running a 7-11 store much less the government. What were they thinking? Hope, change....yes we can. Well I hope they keep their eyes & ears open to watch what this man is doing to our country. He is busy blaming former Pres George Bush for everything while he secretly cripples this country. He is the weakest president our country has ever seen & the World knows it. We just signed a nuclear arms treaty with the Russian president who won't even shake Mr. Obama's hand. It is terrifying to think that our biggest adversary doesn't respect our president. Mr Obama has been pushing healthcare reform since Day 1 to keep the American people from concentrating on the economy & the 2 lingering wars....these 2 things are far more important than healthcare. He went so far as to bribe senators for their healthcare vote & when he got caught; he removed the stipulations from the bill. He is a common criminal & I desperately HOPE he gets caught so we can CHANGE his residence to prison after we impeach him....YES WE CAN! He has demeaned the Office of the President of the United States of America with all his late night talk show appearances, his calls to celebrities to tell them to be strong(Tiger woods) & his NCAA bracketology! You are the President, not some rock star! His arrogance will be his undoing & I eagerly await his exit from the Oval Office. It will be tough to steal more stuff from the White House than the Clinton did...but the Obama's can do it, yes they can. I hope every Democrat remembers & admits to what they did. Way to go Democrats.....you fucked it up for everybody & now we have to fix it before it is too late. Vote the Democrats out of office. I've never been happier to have a valid passport in my entire life. I can live in Australia just fine. Like I said if I'm going to be living in a socialist country then Australia has better beer & scuba diving. I need a stiff drink!
Cheers,
Rip Pewett Republican for life

Oh to have a simple life....would bore me to tears

I'm staring out the window of our Madison Street Clarksville store at the traffic driving by, much as a lion might at the zoo, when I witness 2 car loads of simple folk pull into our parking lot. I watch as they all struggle to get out of their vehicles as all 5 of them are over weight,border line obese. They are all related, probably poorly educated & happy as they can be. Damn them. I listen to their conversations & determine that they probably will never be rich, never travel the world & couldn't care less. They don't know any better.....or worse. For me it is painful to listen to their mindless babble bout Momma telling Jr he gunna have to study real hard when he starts HVAC school next week but it is real good for him cuz they ain't gonna make him do no math or english.(no but electricity is involve) Don't misunderstand me, I am not better than anyone, I have just been provided with a better opportunity to live life to it's fullest for lack of a better term. I was raised seeing Destin,Fl for vacations & these people probably took a camping trip to Kentucky Lake. I graduated from high school & went to college, they probably didn't graduate from high school & started working at Dairy Queen. (luv me some Dairy Queen)I have dated & married some of the most attractive women I have ever seen; they married a customer that was nice to them. I have traveled through Australia 3 times; they went to Outback Steakhouse one time in Bowling Green,KY & believe everything on the menu is true Aussie vittles. I know this is coming across as condescending but it is not. When I am struggling in my life....I am envious of the simple life. I sometimes wish that I lived in small town America & the problems of the real world were unknown to me. I have been exposed to the good, bad & ugly of the real world & can never go back. I want to do every single thing on my list of 100 & it is going to be a a hell of a lot of fun making it happen! Small town America works for some but the Big Old World is my forte. The picture is of Shelena, bar vixen at the Old Cabin Inn, Benton TN stapling a $1 bill with OnMeWay written on it to the wall. The past 2 years we have descended upon this great hole in the wall after our Ocoee river trip & she has come up with some great lines each year. 1st year....(her) "where u tourists from?"(me) "how do you know we are tourists?"(her)"cuz you all are way too happy to be from here!"2nd year(me)"Shelena, what does this text on my phone mean?"(her)"what does it say?"(me)"anything for you honey"(her)"Oh hell, that means butthole luvin for sure" We all nearly fell out of our chairs laughing. I look forward to next year & Shelena's yearly classics! Although I'm happy to live in the real world....escaping to small town America is rejuvenating.

Cheers,

Rip Pewett