I'm officially announcing my bid to be the next President of the United States of America

Well the time has come for me to step out from behind the scenes & pull this country out of it's death roll. I have stood by & watched President Obama lie, cheat & steal his way to being the worst president in the history of this great country. I don't expect much competition from him as he will be busy on some reality show or playing hoops with Will Smith during the election. I feel that i owe it to the American people & their children to lay out my platform in great detail so we will all know how I'm going to fix this country.

1. Bring our troops home from Afghanistan & South Korea. We don't need troops on the ground to find Bin Laden. Pull the troops out & wait for someone to spot him. Once he is spotted I will deploy a full squadron of B-52 stratofortress bombers to carpet bomb the shit out of his stronghold. Problem solved. The 28,000 troops in South Korea will be redeployed along the U.S. Mexican border. We will put snipers in towers along the 50ft wall built by American contractors. Job stimulation & border security will be the result of this course of action.

2.Bring every Czar that Obama appointed to the White House & have them arrested as most of them are criminals anyway. If some are innocent then I will send them a apology card & fruit cake for their troubles.

3.Set term limits on Congress to a maximum of 2 terms & revoke the lifetime pension for members of Congress. It is a privilege to serve your country & you shouldn't receive any lifetime benefit for it. Also if you guilty of a crime while serving in Congress, if convicted you are sentenced to Levinworth Federal Prison with the military convicts...no censure allowed.

4.I will address the United Nations & inform all the leaders of the world that all aid will be cut off to countries that harbor terrorists, burn our flags or if you just hate us cause we are cool. Once you make the list, it will be impossible to get off it.

5.Student visas & work visas will be suspended for 10years. We are training our enemies in our universities & allowing our enemies to work amongst us. Also tourist visa will only be issued after a through background check.

6.I will sponsor a bill that legalizes the sale of marijuana & will tax the hell out of it to go solely towards our National debt.

7.I will raise taxes on actors, professional athletes & billionaires. They have gotten rich on the backs of the lower & middle class fans. All these taxes will go towards the National debt as well.

8.I will abolish Obama's Healthcare plan the moment I get the keys to the White House & will replace it with a program that mandates new doctors must serve 5 years in a government run hospital that deals with Medicaid & Medicare patients exclusively. Drug companies will be forced to sell drugs to these facilities at cost. This will totally control the cost of healthcare to the elderly, the poor & the illegal aliens in this country.Everybody else has insurance & it is working!

9.I will legalize off shore drilling anywhere that we find large reserves. The endangered species will move or die. I also will broker a deal with the government of Iraqi to pump all the free oil we can for the 10 years we have been in their country & after 10 years we will pump oil at cost for as long as we have a military presence in Iraq. Oil prices will plummet & yet again the profits will go directly to the debt.

10.I will focus on a Made in America agenda that will promote, encourage & fund business in America. I will also pass a tax on luxury items such as cars, planes & boats that are manufactured outside of our country. You got it, the profits will go directly towards our debt.

11.You get the idea of my agenda to bring this great country back from stupidity to AWESOMENESS! But in order to really fix this country we must fix the current college football mess known as the BCS. We will go to a playoff system with the 16 highest ranked teams vying for the National Championship. The teams will play the quarterfinals,semifinals & finals in the same sites that have the bowls with the finals alternating between the Fiesta,Rose,Sugar & Orange Bowl. No questions about who the National Champion is when it is proven on the field.

I probably need to get busy collecting signatures & choosing a Vice-President. I hope I'm elected so I can get this country back on track & if the Russians don't shake my hand at the Arms Treaty talks(see Obama snubbed by Russians) I'll light them up with nukes. Remember to vote in 2012 for Rip Pewett...the tallest candidate.
Cheers,
Rip
p.s.in lieu of debating President Obama, I will challenge him in a game of one on one basketball & school his lame ass.

You can't get them all but boy you can try;)

It has been a long time since I felt inspired to write my thoughts. I have been coasting through life without many cares & sadly very little inspiration until last night. I was at the Corner Pub in Green Hills to retrieve a fleece jacket I left there after the UT game Saturday when a blast from the past strolled through the door. She & I reminisced about our college days & what was going on in our current lives. Time flys when you are talking with a stunning woman about the glory days of college. We went our separate ways & I started thinking about the women of my life that for whatever reason I never was able to compromise.(see naked) I've always loved the Seinfeld show & the unique ways Jerry always lost the pretty girl. With that being noted, here are the Top 10 beautiful women in no particular order that got away & the unique reason for each.

1. Betsy Scofield-she dated & loved one of my best friends-that is where bros vs hos is tested & proven.

2.Andrea Parrish-not really sure about this other than she has a twin & maybe I couldn't make up my mind or she caught me eyeing her sister's spectacular boobs

3.Rachel Cunningham-hubba hubba & super sassy-once again dated & loved one of my best friends-a trend is developing here

4.Kim Huff-childhood friend that moved away...i had a kiddie boner for her

5.Penny Crook-this one is especially painful as timing just never worked out with her numerous times & now we aren't friends because of it...unfortunate.

6.Susan Jenkins-sooooo close but alas one of my best friends wouldn't take one for the team & be a true wingman.

7.Jenny Williams-just didn't work out but alot of fun. Even told her best friend I had compromised her only to have Jenny call me the very next day. Needless to say it was a conversation were i did most of the talking & apoligizing. What can I say I was 21yrs old.

8.Monique Gibson-this one hurts because I actually chose to blow her off for another girl who in retrospect doesn't hold a candle to Monique....big mistake

9.Kelly Kline-i'm a bad breaker upper, always have been. I was trying to crawfish back with my ex-fiancee when I met this tall drink of water. Had one fun Super Bowl party night!

10.Leslie Revill-one of my favorites & once again timing killed me again. She & I just hit it off but I was with another woman...oh well

Well that was alot of fun to remember the fishes that got away & laugh about it. I've been very fortunate through my life to be with alot of beautiful women inside & out. Another chapter in these are the memories that make me a wealthy soul. Until the next inspiration.

Cheers,

Rip Pewett amateur fisherman

p.s.picture is of #10 Leslie Revill(sweet young vixen)

10 signs of a Democrat

I sometimes ponder about people & why they behave in the manner to which they do. You can break it down to politics....they are either Republicans(right) or Democrats(wrong). Here are 10(there alot more) tell tale signs that a person is a Democrat.

1.the person that doesn't pay attention when the turn signal at an intersection goes green & ruins it for no less than 5 cars behind them that were paying attention.

2.if you own a foreign sub-compact or mid size vehicle. They don't understand that these purchases send money to other countries. Obviously Republicans understand this but work hard for their money & want the best cars available. I am the exception in that I am a Republican that will never own a foreign ride.

3.if you believe World Peace is a realistic obtainable goal....it will never happen

4.if you think you are too good to park in a parking space & choose to park in front of a place of business.

5.if you are an actor/actress or a musician. These people don't live in the real world & pretty much have other people wipe their asses for them.

6.if you are a vegan or vegetarian & feel the need to tell everybody because you are taking a stand. I'm a lesbatarian but you don't see me walking around annoying people with that little detail. No one cares.

7.if you believe the media is truthful & not biased at all!

8.if you believe we should save Darfur, free Tibet & help any country that hates us. Save America, free us from our growing debt & ONLY help our allies!

9.if you live in California, New York or not the extended South.

10.if you were dumb enough to vote for Obama even after all the facts you knew about him.

I could go on & on about the signs that a person is a Democrat but it would piss us both off.

Until next time....stay to the right & vote on Nov 2 before it is too late!!!!!!

Rip Pewett Republican

25 likes & dislikes....Vol 2

In my last post I mentioned that it wouldn't take long for someone to piss me off & trigger my 25 dislikes. I'll start there.


1.brain dead rednecks-Dad always said he disliked them worse than bad blacks(trying to keep it clean), because they were born with the advantage of being born white & just didn't get it.





2.Democrats-they want to help people who don't want to help themselves & that is stupidity in it's simplest form.





3.Mean hearted people-I've hurt people throughout my life but I never did it intentionally...mean people do.





4. the common fly-no real purpose for their existence but to gross me out!





5.no turn on red sign-most broken law by me





6.metal clothes hangers-they really piss me off





7.the idea that world peace is possible.....it isn't, people have been fighting since the beginning of time.





8.giving money to countries that hate us & conspire against us! fuck them & let them eat sand





9.neck ties-i consider them a noose on my soul





10.traitors-in a time of war they should be executed(you know who you are)





11.allergies-no fun living in Tennessee





12.ear & nose hair-it is gross, keep it trimmed. manscape the other as well.





13.the French-this one is more of a hate. their arrogance amazes me for a chicken shit country that won't stand up for itself. We should of let Germany keep them.





14.not being able to get breakfast & lunch at the same time at McDonalds(egg mctasty,country ham biscuit & fries)





15.traffic jams that last forever & when you get to the cause of the delay....you still can't figure out why traffic was slowed.





16.cheap people-I'd rather you stand over my grave & call me an asshole(that can be true) than to call me cheap. spend it....you can't take it with you





17.cats-they are Satan's creatures plus I'm allergic to them. could be worse.....i could be allergic to the other.





18.Van Hagar-Van Halen is my favorite band & Sammy Hagar should never have followed Diamond David Lee Roth.





19.men driving chick convertibles-miatas & sebrings ain't cool





20.i really dislike the word mandatory-it implies authority over me



21.cemeteries-people should never be put in the ground. Cremate me & spread half of me over God's stadium(Neyland) & the other half over the Great Barrier Reef



22.Haveto Day-Mondays



23.women who are so insecure they have to separate their men from their friends. i lost a wife & best friend for that reason



24.crazy women-i don't care who screwed you up.....it wasn't me



25.last but not least I ABSOLUTELY DISLIKE THE ENTIRE OBAMA ADMINISTRATION & THE CURRENT SEATED CONGRESS!!!!!!!!!! YA'LL SUCK



Well, I feel better. Now you know what I like & what I dislike.

Cheers,

Rip Pewett
p.s. ohhhhhh, and the picture is of Vanderbilt's Memorial Gym....I hate Vanderbilt fans.

My 25 likes & dislikes

I go through my daily routine & usually find humor in all situations; I guess it is a type of coping mechanism so I don't blow a fuse but every now & again I feel the need to vent....so here goes. I will start on a positive note so we all understand that my glass is over half full to say the least.

25 likes

1.UT & college football-the history, the rivalries & the excitement not to mention the whole game day experience(45 days until season opener)

2.scuba diving-there is so much beauty in the ocean, so much freedom when you dive & I am in a sunny locale.

3. 1972 Olds Cutlass Supreme Convertible-it is yellow.

4.the smell of wood burning-even when my house burned to the ground as a kid I still liked the way it smelled-it was mentioned that I was probably in shock.

5.Seafood-i feel for people that don't like scrimps,lobster,grouper,scallops & fried craw claws.

6.My passport-my legal document that allows me to take adventures all over the world.

7.having a sense of humor....if you ain't got one, you are boring!

8.banana puddin-have had 2 sweet young vixens that claim to make the best in the world...1 does;)
9.roller coasters- love the thrill of being out of control & going fast!

10.Cold beer.....it is my vice, my relaxation juice & my social beverage of choice.

11.movies via Netflix...i can escape reality on the futon, i can pause to go potty or get another glass of vino.
12.Thongs-something soooooo sexy about seeing a hottie w/thongs peeking out at me

13.rewarding myself with a present. we all work hard(sometimes) & it is nice to say fuck it.....i want this
14.diet mt dew.....I'm all jacked up on diet mt dew! i don't drink coffee & I've probably had 10 glasses of ice tea my entire life
15.the beach.....I'm a big fan of the white beaches of the panhandle of Florida...lots of great memories from childhood, college & as an adult
16.living in the greatest country in the World....yep it is, just travel anywhere & you will see that we have it pretty damn good compared to everyone else.
17.the Internet....porn, UT football,google,buy stuff, plan travel....my website www.onmeway.com
etc.....
18.the sun....yes it makes life possible but I'm talking about all the fun in the sun...poolside w/girls in bikinis, getting a tan & riding around topless
19.extended travel....6 weeks in Australia w/nothing to do but have adventure after adventure is one of the most liberating experiences you will ever have.
20.Committee of one....being single allows me to do whatever the hell I want!

21.giving....my time, my money & anything that someone needs or likes better than I like it
22.Chinese food, Mexican food & fish tacos......good stuff!
23.tall women 5'9" & above to ride this ride.....it is my niche market cuz tall girls like to be able to wear heels, be small & feel safe.
24.watching planes fly overhead....commercial airliners make me wonder where i will be going next, military planes make me wonder who we are gonna light up next....I'm a huge war hawk
25.....last but most important...I like my memories. It is the only thing you would have if you were on a beach naked.
O.K. that pretty much sums up my likes & I think I will stop there. I'm on a way too positive note to start bashing on my dislikes! Don't worry, somebody will piss me off soon enough & my next post will be my dislikes.
Cheers,
Rip Pewett likes.......

4th of July-Independence from reality

Today is the day that our nation celebrates the colonies of America breaking away from the tyranny of Great Britain to form the greatest country in the world...the United States of America. To often we forget the struggles that our ancestors endured to build this great country. We have survived civil war, the Great Depression & many natural disasters. Through all of these tests what kept our country going was hope & the belief that all setbacks are temporary. I'm here to tell you that over 50% of our country does not believe what is happening to this country is a temporary setback. We believe it is a well thought out plan to systematically destroy our way of life. What if me & all of my Facebook friends behave like our current administration did? What if every single one of us were already deeply in debt but went to another lender & borrowed 100 times the amount we already owe at a astronomical interest rate? Then we all went to our employer & said you are going to have to raise our salary to cover this additional debt. Oh, I'm also not going to tell you why I did this or what I'm gonna do with this money. You know what would happen...we would be fired as the guys in the white jackets were putting the straight jacket on us! That is exactly what needs to happen to Obuma & all of his cronies. Fire them for what they are doing to this great country. I liken certain Democrats as ostriches; as they put their heads in the sand so they don't have to listen or watch what they have done. I am seeing many of them cringe as they see their President laugh & cut up on the beach as he visits the Gulf oil disaster. Even the most left wing are noticing when the Russian delegation didn't shake Obuma's hand at the arms treaty talk & realize our biggest rival doesn't respect him. The Democrats will be the ones that change this country back when they become sick & tired of his lies as well as when they accept that he is soooooo far in over his head & so are his advisers. Change is good, you wanted change & you voted for it. Now accept the fact you made a colossal mistake & fix it before it is too late. If is your kids that will suffer & you will have no one to blame but yourself. I don't have any kids(that i know about) & I have a passport....I will be fine. I can live on a dive boat in Australia, drinking better beer & watching the Vols on satellite t.v. You can't leave as you have to raise your family in a country that is going down the drain. Start today on the anniversary of other brave souls who were willing to do whatever it took to build a great nation! The picture is of some of our crew & I'm going to convince them to go out and borrow 100 more debt than they currently have then ask their boss for a raise to cover the debt. I will keep you posted.
Cheers,
Rip Pewett one fed up American

We are all guilty for what is happening to this country....some more than others

I was driving to work today and as the road narrowed I was passed by a 5 series BMW followed closely by a Porsche 911 Carrera. Both of these foreign luxury cars were speeding, driving somewhat recklessly & saying to the world...look at me. I started thinking about the problems we face in this country & one of the greatest mistakes our country made was allowing foreign car manufacturers easy access to our markets. The next time you are in a traffic jam & have some time on your hands...look at 20 cars near you & you'll see at least half of these vehicles are foreign! I understand that the Germans, Swedes & Japanese make fine cars but so do the Americans. The real problem is with our society & the arrogance of the wealthy. They feel they have worked hard for their money & should reward themselves with the best toys the world has to offer. The problem with this is they never give thought to where their hard earned money lands. At first glance it would appear to go to their local dealership but in reality is going to a foreign country & improving their bottom line, not the U.S. I am also aware that alot of purchases are by the middle & lower class as well. I don't want to dwell on these classes too much because they believe that the Japanese make the most fuel efficient cars in the world; so it is a money driven decision. Our law makers have ruined other industries as well. Electronics, apparel & liquor come to mind. We have to have the Samsung T.V., the Hugo Boss suit & the Crown Royal(yes I am guilty as well). But if we did any research at all, we would find that RCA makes great tvs, Tom James sells far better suits & Jack Daniels will due just fine. Once again we find ourselves giving away our country so we can live the high life. Buy American or leave should be our slogan & we should follow it when it comes to our major purchases. I understand that I am teetering on the cliff of hypocrisy by starting an import/export company but I'm not talking about art, crafts & widgets...I'm talking about major purchases that effect our economy. These things are housing, cars, appliances & electronics. We could pull ourselves out of this recession & debt cesspool by giving tax breaks to Americans who are loyal to our manufacturers & levy a luxury tax on the people who don't give a shit about anyone but themselves. The Australians have been doing this for years & it works! Pictured is my Yelosub, a 1972 Oldsmobile Cutlass Supreme convertible & it is 100% American baby...just like me. For the record I have never owned a foreign vehicle & never will! Get with it people or sooner or later there won't be anything left of us & the U.S.A.
Cheers,
Rip Pewett proud purchaser of American made products

You never know who you are gonna run into

I was attempting to nap last Saturday when my phone rang. It was my roommate telling me that he was drinking with two Australian travelers at the street festival I was supposed to be attending. Well, I needed no other motivation that pounding numerous cold beer with friends & convicts. I call all Australians convicts, as that is what they are...convicts sent from England in the 1800's. I rolled up on this motley crew & John the taller of the two says" Yeah, he is a big bloke Barry". Well, I quickly start questioning these fellas about where they are from & what brings them to Nashville. North of Melbourne & music are the answers. We hit it off immediately & proceed to make these fine fellas feel at home in Nashville as their countrymen have done for me on my 3 treks through Oz. I love talking with Australians about their country & learning what I might have missed in my travels there. I sometimes having a hard time listening to people on a daily basis as I think I'm more interesting than most Americans(i know it is a flaw & I'm working on it) but I can sit for hours & listen to Aussies talk about there homeland. I've found cold beer adds to the enjoyment of the stories as well. These 2 blokes are here for a month & they are definitely on walkabout(aussie term for just leaving your hometown for a good bit). They had listened to blues in New Orleans, survived Memphis & now where in Nashville to listen to country music. They wandered upon the Ode to Otha street party & were eating catfish for the first time & drinking Yazoo beer as I was listening to their adventures up to this point. Nothing gets my mind revved up like this. I start talking about what they have to import & what they need me to export. Ironically, they told me I could make a fortune shipping old rusted out cars you see in a person's yard but that didn't seem like my thing. I told them about my past OnMeWay treasure hunting & my future adventures back to Australia & on to New Zealand. We exchanged cards & i promised to look them up my next time in country. And off they went to The Station Inn & I went back to dreaming about my visionquest. I met with my a friend of mine who is a potential investor & it went very well. I have no problem asking a friend to buy me a couple beers but asking someone for $250,000 for investment capital takes me a bit out of my comfort zone. I'm sure it will get easier the more times I ask. No matter what it takes, I will be out of the country on my VisionQuest the day after college football season is over! Yes, I realize my priorities are a little off but they are mine. I would also like to say Suck it Kiffen to our former coach as he enjoys the downfall of USC do to probation. The picture is of 2 convicts John & Gary with 2 yags, Barry & Mark.
Cheers,
Rip Pewett future entrepreneur
www.onmeway.com

Nashville Class Capital of the World

18.5 inches of rain fell on Nashville in a 2 day period & our community is still reeling but through it all the people of Nashville have displayed class & dignity to the rest of the United States as well as the World. One FEMA agent was quoted as saying "In my 10 years working disasters, I have never seen a better example of people handling diversity than the people of Nashville." We have not fought, complained or looted during this catastrophic event; instead we have picked ourselves up, reached out to one another & supported complete strangers during this tough time. We were asked to conserve water as one of our 2 water treatment plants was completely submerged by the Cumberland River & we did. We didn't blame our local government for building this plant too close to the river as noone could have foreseen this disaster...it just happened. Looters were nowhere to be found as maybe they were busy taking care of their homes or maybe we just know better. A natural disaster is not an opportunity to steal from your fellow man, it is a time to help him start the rebuilding process. It did appear that the national media wasn't too concerned with our problems but seeing as we are a red state(Republican), maybe they felt we were getting what we deserved. F__k em & for the record Davidson County is liberal blue. We can take care of ourselves & couldn't care less if the media covers it. I have seen many of slogans since the flood but my favorite is We are Nashville. We are a good, hearted Southern town built on the river & we will be back ASAP! No excuses, no complaining....just being the best town I have ever seen in the U.S.A. & I've been to New Orleans & Memphis(shameless dig) We have seen how the people of one of those towns reacted to a natural disaster & Memphis would have been just as bad if they experienced what we have.....just sayin. The picture is of our riverfront park during a BBQ festival in August of last year. The street pictured is 1st ave & before the river crested we had water all the way up to 5th Ave! LP Field where the Tennessee Titans play had water 3-4 feet deep on the playing field. Jeff Fisher the coach of the Titans & adopted Nashvilian was quoted as saying" Oh hell, we could of played on the field today if we had to". That is the way to say it Jeff....good on ya!
Cheers & keep your powder dry,
Rip Pewett proud native Nashvilian

I didn't vote for the arrogant ass.....he is 1 and done

Never in the history of our country have we ever made such a colossal mistake. It is hard to imagine so many millions of people who would ignore all the warning signs that Barack Obama wants to destroy the United States & our way of life. The media hid all the facts they could but the truth always comes out. It didn't matter to the Democrats that Mr. Obama would not produce a valid birth certificate, is a practicing Muslim, went to Reverend Wright's radical church for 20years or has zero experience running a 7-11 store much less the government. What were they thinking? Hope, change....yes we can. Well I hope they keep their eyes & ears open to watch what this man is doing to our country. He is busy blaming former Pres George Bush for everything while he secretly cripples this country. He is the weakest president our country has ever seen & the World knows it. We just signed a nuclear arms treaty with the Russian president who won't even shake Mr. Obama's hand. It is terrifying to think that our biggest adversary doesn't respect our president. Mr Obama has been pushing healthcare reform since Day 1 to keep the American people from concentrating on the economy & the 2 lingering wars....these 2 things are far more important than healthcare. He went so far as to bribe senators for their healthcare vote & when he got caught; he removed the stipulations from the bill. He is a common criminal & I desperately HOPE he gets caught so we can CHANGE his residence to prison after we impeach him....YES WE CAN! He has demeaned the Office of the President of the United States of America with all his late night talk show appearances, his calls to celebrities to tell them to be strong(Tiger woods) & his NCAA bracketology! You are the President, not some rock star! His arrogance will be his undoing & I eagerly await his exit from the Oval Office. It will be tough to steal more stuff from the White House than the Clinton did...but the Obama's can do it, yes they can. I hope every Democrat remembers & admits to what they did. Way to go Democrats.....you fucked it up for everybody & now we have to fix it before it is too late. Vote the Democrats out of office. I've never been happier to have a valid passport in my entire life. I can live in Australia just fine. Like I said if I'm going to be living in a socialist country then Australia has better beer & scuba diving. I need a stiff drink!
Cheers,
Rip Pewett Republican for life

Oh to have a simple life....would bore me to tears

I'm staring out the window of our Madison Street Clarksville store at the traffic driving by, much as a lion might at the zoo, when I witness 2 car loads of simple folk pull into our parking lot. I watch as they all struggle to get out of their vehicles as all 5 of them are over weight,border line obese. They are all related, probably poorly educated & happy as they can be. Damn them. I listen to their conversations & determine that they probably will never be rich, never travel the world & couldn't care less. They don't know any better.....or worse. For me it is painful to listen to their mindless babble bout Momma telling Jr he gunna have to study real hard when he starts HVAC school next week but it is real good for him cuz they ain't gonna make him do no math or english.(no but electricity is involve) Don't misunderstand me, I am not better than anyone, I have just been provided with a better opportunity to live life to it's fullest for lack of a better term. I was raised seeing Destin,Fl for vacations & these people probably took a camping trip to Kentucky Lake. I graduated from high school & went to college, they probably didn't graduate from high school & started working at Dairy Queen. (luv me some Dairy Queen)I have dated & married some of the most attractive women I have ever seen; they married a customer that was nice to them. I have traveled through Australia 3 times; they went to Outback Steakhouse one time in Bowling Green,KY & believe everything on the menu is true Aussie vittles. I know this is coming across as condescending but it is not. When I am struggling in my life....I am envious of the simple life. I sometimes wish that I lived in small town America & the problems of the real world were unknown to me. I have been exposed to the good, bad & ugly of the real world & can never go back. I want to do every single thing on my list of 100 & it is going to be a a hell of a lot of fun making it happen! Small town America works for some but the Big Old World is my forte. The picture is of Shelena, bar vixen at the Old Cabin Inn, Benton TN stapling a $1 bill with OnMeWay written on it to the wall. The past 2 years we have descended upon this great hole in the wall after our Ocoee river trip & she has come up with some great lines each year. 1st year....(her) "where u tourists from?"(me) "how do you know we are tourists?"(her)"cuz you all are way too happy to be from here!"2nd year(me)"Shelena, what does this text on my phone mean?"(her)"what does it say?"(me)"anything for you honey"(her)"Oh hell, that means butthole luvin for sure" We all nearly fell out of our chairs laughing. I look forward to next year & Shelena's yearly classics! Although I'm happy to live in the real world....escaping to small town America is rejuvenating.

Cheers,

Rip Pewett

relationships end but the clothes stick around

As I was buttoning a big orange shirt today in preparation of UT playing this evening, I had a flashback to a past relationship & how this symbol of my addiction for God's team came to be mine. I then took a moment to do a mental inventory of every piece of clothing in my wardrobe & all the sweet young vixens who helped assemble it. I'm not going to lie; it made me smile from ear to ear! Each piece of clothing whether it be boxers(no briefs) or an incredible black leather coat has a face & a great story. The boxers were given because we as men wear things until they evaporate & this one story involved said ex disgusted with the crotch being out of one or two pairs of my existing under garments. Next thing you know 4-8 pairs of new boxers in a variety of colors & designs proceeded by a quick funeral of crotchless boxers....goodbye old friends. The leather coat was a gift from one of the loves of my life for Christmas & it is one of the heaviest leather coats I have ever seen. One thing lead to another(she loved cocaine) & relationships end. One of the last things she said to me was "And i want that f___in leather coat back that I gave you as a xmas present!" I calmly replied "look in the dictionary for present & let me know what it says" I have acquired quite a few coats in my days that I still wear & really look good on me. Thanks ladies! I've been given shoes, socks,jeans,khakis,shirts,belts,boxers,coats; you name it & some young lady has given it to me. I consider myself a fairly fashion forward dresser but I realize that many of the givers have been conservative in their clothing choices as in other areas as well. Probably need to donate the dull stuff to Goodwill & make room in the closet. I believe that clothing as well as photos will transport each of us back to a period of time we may have forgotten or better yet; just filed away. I can look at every piece of my wardrobe & remember who gave it to me, the circumstances & ultimately regenerate a fond memory of that relationship; very much the same way a picture will. Ultimately relationships end but remembering the great times will serve you far better than the misery that may have been there at the end. Obviously this does not apply to violent & abusive relationships or ones that involved finding your lover in bed with your brother or sister. I think we can all agree that life consists of chapters & over time the best we can do is look back on each chapter with fond memories. If we don't then our book of life would be put in the horror section of the bookstore.

The picture represents one of the best gifts I ever gave...a pair of Dallas Cowboys thong panties. It says sexy plus 5 time World Champion! See as men we realize if we attempt to give you anything besides panties(s,m,l),jewelry or gift certificates we are only creating problems;as we have zero idea what the current fashion for chicks would be. Plus we understand the incredible pleasure you ladies generate from going to the mall together, getting manis & pedis & making fun of us. So go nuts & let us watch sports, drink beers & be guys. I will tell you that i have become the exception to the rule when it comes to giving gifts. I gave a bad present back in 1986(pair of rose printed jeans) & ever since I have made it a top priority to really be unique in my gift giving ability. No shit gifts ever again!

Cheers,

Rip Pewett

things done in the name of religion

Lent has begun & the Catholics are screaming from the chapels what they are foregoing until Easter. Everything from alcohol, pizza & sweets to represent the sacrifice Jesus made on the cross....I think. My knowledge of religion is sketchy at best as I haven't been to church two weeks in a row since I was 15. What I find humorous is each individual gives up something they feel will be a sacrifice but it is selective of that person & what they believe to be a sacrifice. One person believes giving up pizza is going to be a challenge were the other person may not like pizza at all but is abstaining from ice cream for 45 days. If a person is a Catholic Vegan then they don't eat those items year round so they must give up something else like eating....sand? Muslims don't eat pork....pig is good, one of their many issues. Monks set themselves on fire.....really?! I was raised Presbyterian and as a child i was allowed to eat & drink just about everything so i feel it was a cool religion for that period of my life. The Mormons aren't allowed soft drinks or alcohol...bad, but can have multiple wives.....real bad(more wives equals more problems, enough said). The Jehovah's witness....who cares, bunch of nut jobs. If you are a member of some cult you probably get to do pretty much as the leader dictates; right up until he poisons you or the local federales start lobbing tear gas into your compound. The Agnostics are saying who knows, who cares & why bother. The Atheist is eating, drinking, smoking & fucking right now during Lent. The Baptists are singing & the Church of Christ people are condemning everybody else to Hell no matter what! Since I am a free agent I have decided some sacrifice is in order so i have decided to slow down on my consumption of cold beer. It is dual purpose...first I want to lose 10-15 lbs so I look good in my bikini....oops swimming suit & 2nd just waking up with a clear head un hung over is a good thing! It has been a week & I feel great & my belly is already shrinking. Only 35+ days to go & the sacrifice is marginal but I'm not giving up pizza, ice cream or pop tarts.....I'm just not. All these things are essential to my happiness & therefore are staying. O.K. you are probably wondering as a free agent which religion might sign me to a long term deal....gotta go with the Catholics, they can pretty much do whatever they want, go to Confession & all their sins are forgiven....that is AWESOME! I'm holding out for terms of the deal & a huge signing bonus so I can buy a bunch of cold beer. The picture is of Barry McCord, one of my inner circle who is Catholic & is giving up both alcohol & soft drinks....truth be told he is alot more fun when he is on the booze...oh well, sacrifices must be made in the name of the Lord.
Cheers,
Rip Pewett free agent

I don't ever want to know how many i've had

We all have our vices & most come with some sort of huge price; whether it be financial, emotional or physical. I have narrowed my vices through the years for numerous reasons but one has always remained....cold beer. I can't remember the first time my dad let me take a sip of his beer but i do remember that my parents were drinkers, not raging drunks but social drinkers; so boozing was an accepted vice in the Pewett household. Hell, growing up as a kid my dad owned 4-5 bars in Nashville including the Gold Rush, One Eyed Jacks,Luvs, Fannys & Southwinds. The Pewetts like our sauce & made money selling it to other boozers. I do remember the first time I drank beer with friends; it was with Kelly Jones & we headed to the mountains of Busch. Have i ever said how much I love bush? I was 14 years old, he got smashed & made me drive his AMX muscle car home & drop off 3-4 of our closest friends..WTF?! After my dad died I continued to drink beer through high school where numerous arrests(see possession of alcohol & trespassing at my own house) were followed by community service & probation. I consider these offenses as victimless crimes & glad that they were concealed in my juvie record. Oh, and i was wrongly accused as well(maybe not). I left for college in fall of 1984 for the University of Tennessee with my spectacular fake I.D. in my pocket. I did every beer bust, drink or drown & happy hour that the strip had to offer with numerous stories to recall the following morning. I started to realize that beer was holding me back with my studies & my progression as an adult. It became apparent that I needed to go in a different direction or i wasn't going to make it out of college alive. In the fall of 1986 I pledged Kappa Sigma Fraternity, that should fix it. The next 4 years were a blast, a blur & brotherhood of a bizarre kind. 1990 I was finally done at UT & decided to move back to Nashville to regain my focus & begin my life as a stable member of the community. Then i was hired as a on premise liquor & wine wholesaler for B&G Wholesalers...once again that should fix it. Lasted 2 years & once again had a blast & it was a blur. My roommate owned the largest beer store in town so we had an abundance of cold beer. I wish I had kept all the cans & had some homeless person turn them in for cash with us splitting the profits & buying a forty of Schlitz Malt Liquor to remind of my Kappa Sig days. Bottom line is I love the beer, it is my alcoholic beverage of choice & I am so thankful i don't drink liquor like I do beer or my liver would be shot! I drink beer to relax, unwind and socialize. I can't remember ever saying I'm going out to get drunk, it may happen but never my main goal when i pop the top on the 1st of many cold beers. Beer has caused me to do some pretty stupid things but also have some of the best times of my life. Beer can be abused but if used properly......can solve all the worlds problems. I hope that I never hear my doctor say...."You have to quit drinking beer or you will die soon" but if i do then 1st I'll get a 2nd opinion,then if it is confirmed....I'll quit drinking beer as I cry. Some women collect shoes & would never want to know how much they have invested in shoes that they rarely use but with me I would never want to know how much money I've spent on cold beer. At least i know I used every single one of them equally. Ben Franklin said it best..."Beer is living proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy!"

Cheers,

Rip Pewett platinum member of the 1 million beer club

The new kid at school turned out to be a sissy

We all the remember when the new kid from California showed up at the 1st day of school. He was a tan, blond hair pretty boy that seemed a bit too arrogant for the South but we all gave him the benefit of the doubt because we are Southerners & that is what we do. Sometimes he turns out to be a good kid that shares his lunch & makes you laugh at his silly accent; sometimes he steals your girlfriend & leaves you wondering why he was ever allowed to come to your school in the first place. Well Lane Kiffin, you should of never been allowed to come to my school, shame on you Mike Hamilton. This should be no real surprise as so much is unknown about Lane Kiffin & what makes him tick. He is from Minnesota, played quarterback at Fresno State & coached at USC 2001-06. We have all been to the beaches of California & the hills of Tennessee; come on I am an alumni,season ticket holder & life long fan but I still love the beaches of California more than the hills of Tennessee. He had absolutely zero loyalty to our program & the obsession that is Tennessee football. Let's call a spade a spade; he didn't have what it took to be our coach. He is a rich kid who does whatever he wants to do without a second thought about commitment, loyalty or the consequences of his actions. He never really embraced what Tennessee football means to the people of the great state of Tennessee; it is a passion, a reason to live & a life long worship. People name their kids after great players, budget all year for their season tickets & expenses for road trips & paint their houses orange.(their is a checked board house in Benton,Tn by the Ocoee River) Lane Kiffin has taken the easy path & left our program in disarray. He will be able to compete in a weaker conference, recruit in a top 3 talent state & maybe play a SEC team in the BCS Championship....which he will lose cuz he ain't a good coach.(Southern terms used for affect) We as Tennessee Volunteer fans will pick up the pieces of our great program & move forward. You can kick us while we are down because we will NOT be there long! I believe Mike Hamilton should be fired for putting all of our trust into a rich kid with no loyalty. As far as our coach is concerned, I am fine with Kippy Brown as he is an honorable man with real ties to Tennessee & he lives it like we do. It probably won't happen but I would be fine with it. Get ready for a wild, humbling few years but like the USA, we will rise again to be team to fear around the world or the SEC! It is still great to be a Tennessee Vol!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Oh, let us all wish for the NCAA to levy 5yrs of probation, loss of numerous scholarships & post season ban of Mr. Dick Kiffin's new team!
Cheers,
Rip Pewett believer in loyalty & Karma

Google-Double Secret Probation & Alabama is there

The 2009 college football season is sadly over & even more sad is a team on probation was crowned the 2009 BCS National Champions......The University of Alabama. In 2002 the NCAA placed Alabama on probation for 5 years for the illegal recruiting of Memphis Trezevant High's Albert Means. Means was a 5 star defensive lineman that was a lock to be a great college player. Alabama booster Logan Young(who has since been brutally murdered) paid Trezevant High's football coach Lynn Lang $200,000 to steer Means to Alabama, which he did. Ironically, Means never started for Alabama & later transferred to University of Memphis where he had a marginal career at best. Alabama was also required to reduce 21 scholarships over 3yrs & banned from postseason. Paul Dee, the NCAA's chair of committee on Infractions was quoted" I pray that I never see the University of Alabama before this committee again!" Strong words but not worth the air he used to say them. In June of 2009 Alabama would once again be put on probation for a major violation. It would be discovered that during 2005-07 while still serving probation from the other major violation, student athletes including football players were guilty of obtaining free textbooks for other students. Granted, it was university wide involving 16 sports teams, not just the football team but still a major violation. They would be forced to vacate 21 football wins from the 2005-007 seasons & placed on 3 more years of probation.....but no scholarships were lost & they were NOT banned from postseason play. Way to go Paul Dee, you really taught them a lesson....NOT! Lack of institutional control is the buzz word of the NCAA, obviously Nick Saban has the coaching control as evidence of the past two 12-0 regular season records. You know really who should be pissed off.....Auburn fans! They were on probation in 1993 for cheating & went 11-0 finishing #4 in the country because they were banned from t.v. & post season play. What is up with the state of Alabama? Nothing else to do down there but cheat to gain an advantage in college football? I find it horrible that a program can be awarded a National Championship while serving probation for major violations; talk about rewarding bad behavior. I know what some are thinking about my beloved Tennessee Volunteers & the recent violations but the truth of the matter is secondary violations don't amount to more than a slap on the wrist & every team in the country breaks theses rules from time to time. Hell, the manual on recruiting is 500+ pages thick. So Alabama enjoy your 8th not 13th National Championship & keep on singing that dumbass Yella Hammer song all the while you are still on probation until June 2012 for breaking the major rules. Go job, cheaters do win & I'm sure you will be just as good next year. If I was your staff, I would ramp up the cheating efforts as the NCAA must be scared of you. Well, the Big Orange Nation isn't, so kick us while we are down because we won't be there long!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Rip Pewett avid SEC football fan